Changes

I'm scared to change.

I fear that I might have changed the way I used to be. The way I talked, laughed, behaved in front of people. I used to be so simple, shy and quiet. What I have become? Loud, cheeky and straight-forward. Well, I accept who I am but I believe I have changed dramatically. 


I became someone who wishes to become the person I was before.
My life was in such order and peace in which I was capable of thinking with a clear mind.
My life is in such disorder and chaos in which I am even unable to see what's in front of me.

How could it have happened?
My body, mind and soul are no longer in one unit. Today I got sick and had to cancel going out with friends for the Japan Day in Düsseldorf which I was looking forward to sooo much!! Was I really that sick or did I have other things in mind...?
My mind was full of tears, desperate not knowing what to be thinking about and how to sort out some feelings which pile up recently. Have I lost focus on what is important in life and what is irrelevant...?
My soul is distressed and uneasy. Circles drawn instead of straight lines. How am I going to see what is right or wrong...?


I need time and peace. I need to calm down and sort my feelings out. I need help, though, I can't really expect any help from my friends...

Or is it just that I feel lonely being the only one left behind and forgotten in the world...?


Lovely Kimmy~
 

How school changes your attitude to life

I wish I could stay a child forever, move to the small island of the Neverland and fly with fairies. Getting older means one gets to work a lot more, one cannot play around as much as used to as a child and one needs to stay serious and focus on future. Meeeeh..


School has been so seriously stressful. I don't like it anymore..-___- though, I have to admit, it isn't as boring as in Grade 11 or before that. Even with some stricter teachers, loads of homework and a mountain of "analyze this text"-tasks, I enjoy the classes.
I'm not sure whether I like it or not ~___~


Everything considered, Obama's speech on the memorial day of 9/11 nine years after the tragedy was absolutely heartbreaking (although the sounds of airplanes near the Pentagon was kind of sarcastic), Schwarzenegger's inaugural address consisted of only techniques of persuasion rather than argumentation and Hugh Hefner is a representation for the American Dream.


The only sad thing about all this crazy and cool stuff is: I hardly see any of my friends or only for a short time since I 1. have to change schools for some classes (complicated system, do not ask), or 2. we don't have any classes together, or 3. they are nowhere to be found!!!


:(( hope you guys at least enjoy school a little!
Well see ya all
Lovely Kimmy~

I dream of a place far away from this island of work

Hi again

Just so you know, I'm in 12th grade now! :) and it's a lot of work, have to change schools sometimes as well, it is a difficult system to explain now, however, I'm doing pretty good.
Even though most of my classes are without my friends I hang out with, it's still fine. Better concentrate on class XD well, my teachers are fine, I guess, but still a little unfamiliar to me. We are discussing the American Dream in English Class (btw, my English sucks, wish I could tty all every day again)...


Oh just for those who don't know: MAI HEIR GRUU LOONGAAA!!

  

DoesenT it Luk Gud?! I no I no! ^^

Write me mails or skype with me whenever you can :) would be really happy to hear from any of you!

Love, Kimmy :*

Curing sadness

 Aloha!!

I wanna show you some pics which have a deeper meaning to me right now:

• I am kind of down lately and I just don't like being upset over little things or sad due to tiny matters. It's not worth it.
• Friends and family are being dragged down. 

My solution:
Go out with friend, talk with them about your difficulties in life, they will share their thoughts and can understand you the best.They are half of your happiness.

It doesn't have to be a trip far away, just somewhere relaxing and quiet to clear your mind and chill. You have loooots of time to think about your problems. Stress is caused by feelings of having left behind something important, worries are caused by feelings mixed together and unsorted.


My solution:
Get out for a walk in the forest, on a hill, in a parc, at the sea. Relax and forget your worries for a little while. Take your time sorting out your feelings. Scream out and let yourself go wild.

  
There is no need of destroying the thought of being sad or angry. It is natural and human. Life consists of both ups and downs. However, there is a limit to downs. Ups shall take over. Downs can cause you not only mental illness but also show on your physical health. 


My solution: No need to count calories. If one is down, eating will give you energy to take any challenge given to you. Motivation can strenghten you. I mean not to tell you to fill your stomach to its fullest, just saying: don't forget your health.

 Feeling small in the world makes you not the only one in the world. You just have to consider which environment you are in. A wide and desert-like landscape won't get you anywhere. Just imagine where the oasis is located. See a mirage? The mirage is not the oasis but the disastrous landscape.


My solution:
Look at this picture. I do not feel lonely under those beautiful trees. However, they make me do weird poses...




All in all, I say it is alright to be sad, upset or feel lonely once in a while. Why not? I mean life isn't a fairytale in which a prince comes to rescue you. NOO WAAY! In my little tiny world I want to be able to save myself and be a heroine myself. Why let the prince get all the praise if I could as well? I'm not saying I want to be a princess or anything (no hahaha....^^ keke) but all I'm trying to say is that accepting your bad feelings is good. A very fine start. But getting over it is even better. I don't want to make others worry, so I'll try my best and get this done!

Thanks for reading through this chaotic stuff...if u read through it, at all..
Anyways, I had fun talking about it :) it's good for you too!
Hope you guys are doing fine over there and don't stress yourselves out!


Lovely Kimmy~ smiling again^^ 

...there's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost...

 

Name is Kimmy. Age? 17. Occupation? Highschool girl trying to be optimistic each and every day. Fail. Hobbys? Being pessimistic and taking others down with me. Feeling sorry for friends and family who have to bear with me.

At bad times, tea heals your soul. Warming up the body and mind. 

Ice cream heals wounds. Cooling down your bad thoughts and refreshing your optimism to a new beginning.

Music destroys your pessimism. Unable to sort your feelings? Songtexts have a deeper meaning, maybe even matching to your situation. Identify yourself. Feel understood.

Love revives your happiness. There is no cure to sadness or loneliness other than to love and being loved. 

I should go out and take a walk to clear my mind from anything keeping me down :P fresh air makes you feel free. I wish I could fly like bird.

Lovely Kimmy~~

P.S.: Sorry for not smiling today... 

Pictionary :))

Heeeelllloo world :)

Today I decided to make it a photo session, enjoy!

I was in the capital of Northrhine-Westphalia (the province in Germany I live in), the city Düsseldorf! There flows the Rhine which you can see on the right. My friend, Niko, and I did a little bit of sightseeing and enjoyed the city tour during bright weather.

If you want to ask me what the hell she is wearing, this girl on the left picture, I will tell you it's from H&M a store you can find everywhere in Germany..-___-... . I found matching jacket, leggings and a shirt with the same pattern so my friend, Asli, forced me to try it on.

I did. 

I found a picture with my dolphin hat :) it was shortly after coming back to Germany. Yep I really love it.

And yeah, I found another hat. Actually, it's a helmet for children but I found it extraordinary so I just HAD TO take a photo of it ;)

Not to forget, of course BUBBLE TEA!!!! It's totally in right now. I guess, you guys in Canada can already say it's sorta late. There are a few cities which sell them but it's pretty far away TT___TT POOR ME!! They should expand their shops so I can have a sip of this sweet and delicious drink I desire so much. I miss Vancouver in which you can find those shops like sand at the beach :/

Last but not least:
My family and I enjoyed a super nice day in Düsseldorf (again..this city makes me addicted). I found a cocktail dress for the wedding my uncle is celebrating this winter. I'm reaaaallly looking forward to it *___* and another summer dress. We also went to a Korean restaurant since I have never eaten anything Korean. My mom ate something called Bibimbap and my sister and I shared fried pork in Korean style, totally forgot its name though. The photo you see above is the evidence of not existant evidence of our food :)))) we never leave delicious food!! Praaaaiiisee and Recommendation!!!!

Someday we'll all be together

What if we all could just agree
to live together in the world, in perfect harmony?
What if we all could find a way
to live a better life today?

I, finally and totally deserved, have got summer holidays!

Again, it has been some time since I last wrote. Seriously, you missed some things.

Paris was kind of boring but also amusing at the same time. I must say the end was the most interesting thing happening in my life during a class trip: Our bus had to stop in the middle of a highway because an animal bit some ropes or cables. We had to wait 3 hours in the bus. Had to call another bus from Paris to drive us 40 km for approx. 690€ which is around 950$ (nooo we are not rich!!) to wait other 5 hours at an inn which closed at 11 p.m. In the cold, we students had to pray for the bus to get repaired or else we would have been stuck there for eternity (because then, we would have to call a bus from germany and that takes about 8 hours to get to the inn we were at and another 8 hours to get back to germany...). But fortunately, the bus came at 12 p.m. and we arrived home at 7 in the morning while other students from our school prepared to get to school...-.-''

Someday we'll all get started
Someday we'll have what we wanted
Someday we'll want what's better
Someday we'll all be together

In summer vacation, I, Kimmy, have to study for getting my driver's license.....-___-' so unlucky...the lessons are so boring :/
I'm watching a drama right now, called Sungkyunkwan Scandal, was forced to actually...by my dear sister since she kind of bet she would know whom I'd like in this drama. And exactly right: Song Joong Ki :)) nice bet, sis! 

Someday we'll all reach higher
Someday we won't be so tired
Someday we won't say never
Someday we'll all be together

Lovely Kimmy~