Changes

I'm scared to change.

I fear that I might have changed the way I used to be. The way I talked, laughed, behaved in front of people. I used to be so simple, shy and quiet. What I have become? Loud, cheeky and straight-forward. Well, I accept who I am but I believe I have changed dramatically. 


I became someone who wishes to become the person I was before.
My life was in such order and peace in which I was capable of thinking with a clear mind.
My life is in such disorder and chaos in which I am even unable to see what's in front of me.

How could it have happened?
My body, mind and soul are no longer in one unit. Today I got sick and had to cancel going out with friends for the Japan Day in Düsseldorf which I was looking forward to sooo much!! Was I really that sick or did I have other things in mind...?
My mind was full of tears, desperate not knowing what to be thinking about and how to sort out some feelings which pile up recently. Have I lost focus on what is important in life and what is irrelevant...?
My soul is distressed and uneasy. Circles drawn instead of straight lines. How am I going to see what is right or wrong...?


I need time and peace. I need to calm down and sort my feelings out. I need help, though, I can't really expect any help from my friends...

Or is it just that I feel lonely being the only one left behind and forgotten in the world...?


Lovely Kimmy~
 

How school changes your attitude to life

I wish I could stay a child forever, move to the small island of the Neverland and fly with fairies. Getting older means one gets to work a lot more, one cannot play around as much as used to as a child and one needs to stay serious and focus on future. Meeeeh..


School has been so seriously stressful. I don't like it anymore..-___- though, I have to admit, it isn't as boring as in Grade 11 or before that. Even with some stricter teachers, loads of homework and a mountain of "analyze this text"-tasks, I enjoy the classes.
I'm not sure whether I like it or not ~___~


Everything considered, Obama's speech on the memorial day of 9/11 nine years after the tragedy was absolutely heartbreaking (although the sounds of airplanes near the Pentagon was kind of sarcastic), Schwarzenegger's inaugural address consisted of only techniques of persuasion rather than argumentation and Hugh Hefner is a representation for the American Dream.


The only sad thing about all this crazy and cool stuff is: I hardly see any of my friends or only for a short time since I 1. have to change schools for some classes (complicated system, do not ask), or 2. we don't have any classes together, or 3. they are nowhere to be found!!!


:(( hope you guys at least enjoy school a little!
Well see ya all
Lovely Kimmy~